A Quick Guide to Whether a Woman Owes You Something

Dude: I want to know if a woman owes me something.
Guide: Well, did you enter into a loan contract with a woman, providing her with goods or money that has not yet been returned?
Dude: No.
Guide: Hmm. Well, do you have some other contractual agreement to provide goods or services in exchange for a compensation that has not yet been made?
Dude: No.
Guide: It doesn't sound like a woman owes you something.
Dude: What if I sent her a private message on this web forum we both post at.
Guide: Ah. She doesn't owe you shit.
Dude: Well, what if I sent her a message on a dating site. That's just be rude to ignore.
Guide: She doesn't owe you shit.
Dude: Isn't it just common courtesy to write a detailed explanation of why she won't respond favorably to me after I've messaged her five times?
Guide: She doesn't owe you shit.
Dude: What if we go on a date and I buy her dinner...
Guide: Doesn't owe you shit.
Dude: Or if we've been dating a few months, and...
Guide: Doesn't owe you shit.
Dude: Well, how about we're married and I'm in the mood...
Guide: She. Doesn't. Owe. You. Shit.
Dude: Shouldn't I at least be entitled to some sort of...
Guide: Don't owe you shit.
Dude: Well, I don't think that's very decent.
Guide: She still won't owe you shit.